Chicken Soup

Moments before a famous Shakespearean actor was to perform Hamlet to a packed house in New York, he dropped dead. The house manager solemnly went onstage and announced, "We are sorry to bring you this news, but our performance tonight has been canceled due to the untimely demise of our featured performer."

From the back of the theater a voice cried out, "Give him some chicken soup!"

Startled, the stage manager cleared his throat and replied, "I apologize if in my grief I have not made my solemn message clear. The man is deceased."

Once again, but more emphatically the voice rang out, "Give him some chicken soup!"

Having had about enough, the manager bellowed back, "Sir, the man is dead. Giving him chicken soup couldn't possibly help."

To which the voice replied, "It couldn't hurt!"


In a small Yiddish theatre the great Boris Thomashefsky had a heart attack and died while acting in the middle of a scene. The stage manager came over and felt Thomashefsky’s pulse and told the packed theatre that unfortunately the great man was dead. An old lady in the front row yelled up to the Manager, "Give him some chicken soup." When she was ignored, she yelled even louder, "Give him some chicken soup." To this the manager replied, "Madame I don’t think you understand - the Great Thomashefsky is dead. What good will chicken soup do?" The old lady replied, "What good? What harm?"

Answering Machine:

If you want chicken soup, press 1;
If you want matzoh balls with the soup, press 2;
If you want varnishkas, dial 3;
If you want knishes press 4;
If you want to know how am I feeling, you are calling the wrong number since nobody ever asks me how I am feeling.

(http://www.food-jokes.co.uk/food-at-the-table-1.html)
(http://www.awordinyoureye.com/Thomashefsky%20page.html)
(http://www.sillymusic.com/jewish_jokes_mother.asp)